I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
