that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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