Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize