My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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