My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
