please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
