I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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