Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
