guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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