You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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