Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
