I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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