she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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