She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
