is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
