I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
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