Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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