ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
