I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
