Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
FUCK WHALES
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