Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We left the knife in your bed.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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