Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize