fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
