Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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