Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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