he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize