# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I CAN MOONWALK!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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