he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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