fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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