Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize