Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
