Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
