I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
