Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
