im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize