508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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