We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
