do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize