Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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