You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You need a sexual gate keeper
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
