So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
