You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
