he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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