i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize