Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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