is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
