Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
