I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize