Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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