i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
