I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
