They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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