White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize