Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She announced her abortion via fbk
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
