I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
