just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
