I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize