if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Houston, we have a blender
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
