oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize