I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
