i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
