The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
