he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
