the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
