I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
