im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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